Plastic Surgery Haiku, by Amy Poehler

 

If you plump your lips

The words that come of out them

Sound ridiculous

 

We know it’s B*t*x

And not your vegan diet

Nice try, Margaret

 

A face-lift does not

Make daughters comfortable

When you chaperone

 

Fine, get your boobs done

But only make them smaller

Fake boobs are weird, y’all

 

Asymmetrical

Looks cool while cheek implants are

Less interesting

 

Plastic surgery

Requires a good amount

Of lying to friends

 

Can I be honest?

You look like a lady from

The Broadway show Cats

 

I have no idea

If you are angry or sad

Since you got fillers

 

Hey, shooting poison

In your face does not keep you

From turning fifty