Plastic Surgery Haiku, by Amy Poehler


If you plump your lips

The words that come of out them

Sound ridiculous


We know it’s B*t*x

And not your vegan diet

Nice try, Margaret


A face-lift does not

Make daughters comfortable

When you chaperone


Fine, get your boobs done

But only make them smaller

Fake boobs are weird, y’all



Looks cool while cheek implants are

Less interesting


Plastic surgery

Requires a good amount

Of lying to friends


Can I be honest?

You look like a lady from

The Broadway show Cats


I have no idea

If you are angry or sad

Since you got fillers


Hey, shooting poison

In your face does not keep you

From turning fifty